And Yet the Gates Were Closed...

The New Colossus

By Emma Lazarus, 1883

Not like the brazen giant of Greek fame,
With conquering limbs astride from land to land;
Here at our sea-washed, sunset gates shall stand
A mighty woman with a torch, whose flame
Is the imprisoned lightning, and her name
Mother of Exiles. From her beacon-hand
Glows world-wide welcome; her mild eyes command
The air-bridged harbor that twin cities frame.
"Keep, ancient lands, your storied pomp!" cries she
With silent lips. "Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!"

Closed and barred gates are not U.S. The torch is guttering, do not let it go out, for the memory all those who came guided by the light of freedom, and those who yet strive to find it even now.

Present Arms.

Ronald Lee Ermey

March 24, 1944 – April 15, 2018

 Semper Fidelis 

Keep your powder dry Gunny.

April Fools Post

So we thought about doing the hackneyed all in good fun fake product post for a beastiary with some of our favorite tongue and cheek concepts with puntastic names.

If it proved popular we'd make it for real.

I decided we're better than that. Let us know if this is a product that you'd actually be interested in.

Stealthaphant - there's something equally comedic and terrifying about a large creature that actually does stealth well. In my imaginings this would be a magical beast created by a ritual (this would come with a spell similar to awakening in level.) The tucks would have arcane symbols carved in and the elephant amung other things would be more intelligent, able to change it's size and use invisibility.

EnHorser - Aside from fixing the somewhat criminal choice to make hoovestrikes a secondary attack for horses this is more of a animal companion archetype specific to horses and camels. Basically playing with the fact that being ridden down by calvary is terrifying because of the horse not the guy riding it. Cavaliers will squee if this comes to fruition.

ReVoltron - This is a 6 in one entry. 5 undead with the unique option to combine into a greater threat. Yes at least onf of them will be an undead lion.

Alley-saurus - Okay so Pathfinder and other fantasy often let us fight dinosaurs in jungles and the like but rarely do we see dinosaurs that are actually evolved for more modern i.e. sometimes cold climate. Nor do we see dinosaurs that actually make sense in say a city. Enter the Alley-saurus and probably a whole slew of dinosaurs that are modern reimaginings on the historic creatures. This is a concept I'm excited for.

Badgerdilles/Antlerboars - Some of the best monsters are hybrids of 2 animals, we have a bunch of these that I think the community would enjoy.

Necopoli-Ants - There's a real ant that basically can kill and control a wasps body called the pilot ant. In a world with magic we can make that so much more terrifying. Imagine an ant queen that can animate dead, and the swarm that lives inside of these zombie monsters. Got a jaded crew of seen everything grognards? They haven't seen this.

I've been toying with a monster book for years. They are expensive on the art budget and a bastard to put together, so the only way it works is if there's enough interest to put together a kickstarter.

I've helped and contributed to other kickstarters so if this turns out to be a thing I'll be calling in some favors. This is NOT a prank. I'm seriously considering this. I skipped the ThinkGeek style approach here let me know if it's something the community is genuinely interested in.