(by Jeff Harris channeling
his character)
In the fine tradition
of Dear Abbie and Anne Landers, we at The Flying Pincushion wanted our fantasy
readership to have access to good solid gaming advice for gaming problems. In
an effort to provide the most grounded advice we are tapping a wise dwarven
barbarian druid known as Gormie Mountainchewer. Dwarves after all are keen
problem solvers, also for some reason they seem to have a little Scottish in
their accents. Enjoy.
Oh and neither The
Flying Pincushion nor any of its authors condone or even recommend the advise
in this column. It is intended for entertainment purposes and we are not
responsible for anyone dull witted enough to hurt themselves carrying out this advice…
You have been warned.
Dear Gormie,
When adventuring with my two boon companions they often
disagree and ruin an otherwise good time. One is a werewolf and the other a
troll and they always put me in the middle of their arguments. As an Orc it’s
really hard not to lose my temper and mediate between the two, what would you
recommend?
I should note we rotate leadership on our adventures and it
seems to be heavier when one of them is in charge then when I’m in charge. That
said everybody likes to take their turn being in charge.
~GM meat in an angry gamer sandwich.
Dear GM meat in an angry gamer sandwich,
I ‘m
feeling your pain lad, because it gets mighty sticky in your place. Not sure that sharing the thinking job is the
best for your lot, but if that’s the way you lads do it, then that’s your rub
and ol’ Gormie can’t fix that.
So
here’s what you should do, you take all the anger your friends create in you
and push it WAY down inside. Feel it as
a little black ball of rage in your center of being. And for a while every time your two” leaders”
argue over this or that, you just keep adding to the ball, saving up all your
bad feelings for the right time.
Because
for sure there’s gonna come a time that your friends constant battles will go
too far, and then the lads will punch out their arguments. The trick here is lad, to make sure they have
themselves their tiff at a bad time. And
then that when you let all that stocked up rage come flowing out, and you
either beat both of them senseless and now you are the leader, or you save
their bloody hides and then your the leader.
And
there you’ve got it, the real point is once you shame the werewolf and taunt
the troll about the womping or saving them, your tusked self will be sitting right
fine as the REAL leader, you know, the toughest and smartest one, savior of your
companions.
Best
o’ luck,
Gorm
“Gormie” Mountainchewer Want More? We need you letters to Gormie send them to theflyingpincushion@gmail.com
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